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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23777479">Intimacy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumby/pseuds/grumby'>grumby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Adventure Zone (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blupjeans working out some Feelings, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:34:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23777479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumby/pseuds/grumby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s probably afraid of intimacy. She knows that, realistically, she should probably be in therapy. Not a lot of chances for that on the Starblaster, though, unless she wants to talk to Merle about how she uses sex as a coping mechanism. </p><p>Lup's new to dating. Barry's not had sex in 50 years. Their relationship's success isn't guaranteed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Bluejeans/Lup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Intimacy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barry snores. He lies flat on his back, and he doesn’t like sleeping without his pyjamas on, so after they’d fucked he’d got up and put them back on.</p><p>Lup’s lying draped over him, her arm across his chest and her leg over his. It’s relaxing, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. She’s watching him, trying to embed every mannerism, every movement, every snore into her memory.</p><p>He’d been pretty good, all things considered. She could tell he was rusty – she’d wondered if he’d had sex at all since the mission started, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask while they were making out – but he’d been so earnest that he’d pretty well made up for it. A for effort, she silently graded him. She was looking forward to round two.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>Round two. She hadn’t really thought about what came next. After the rush of their performance at Legato, they’d fallen into bed on the Starblaster and she’d barely even remembered to cast a Silence on the door.</p><p>She can't remember the last time she’d dated. She’d had one-night stands, but she doesn’t think she’s ever dated anyone, really, beyond having dinner a couple of times and then fucking and then not talking again. She’d had sex a bunch since the mission began; pretty much every year they’d found themselves in an inhabited plane she’d found at least one person willing to scratch that itch.</p><p>She and Taako had never really been good at intimacy. Part of life on the road, she supposed, was that you didn’t see a lot of the same faces day after day. She’d left most people behind, and so she’d never got into the habit of caring about them.</p><p>That had all changed on the Starblaster, of course. Now, her family was the seven of them, and she cares about them all.</p><p>She looks over at Barry again.</p><p>She doesn’t want this to be a one-night thing, though. She’s - she’s never felt this way about anyone else, she’s sure of that.</p><p>But some part of her mind is telling her it’s time to leave.</p><p>If this were a one-night stand, with some random, attractive stranger she’d met in Tessaralia, or Fungston, or any one of the other planes they’d visited, she’d stealthily get up, grab her clothes and her purse, and she’d sneak out without waking them.</p><p>Even as Barry had been tearing her clothes off, she’d been keeping track of where he’d tossed them. Old habits die hard.</p><p>She doesn’t move.</p><p>She can't just leave now. She really cares for Barry, and, besides, it'd make regen really awkward.</p><p>She’s probably afraid of intimacy. She knows that, realistically, she should probably be in therapy. Not a lot of chances for that on the Starblaster, though, unless she wants to talk to Merle about how she uses sex as a coping mechanism.</p><p>She’s not even sure how dating works. Does she need to let him buy her food? Or is that sexist now? Should she be empowering herself by buying her own damn meal?</p><p>She leans over and kisses his forehead. He stirs and mumbles in his sleep. She smiles at him.</p><p>She wonders if Barry’s dated. He seems like the romantic kind. She thinks she vaguely remembers him talking about an ex-boyfriend he’d had on their home plane, but she definitely hasn’t seen him with anyone since the mission. Maybe he’s just not the type for one-night stands, but she definitely respects his restraint – she’s not sure she could go without fucking anyone for fifty years.</p><p>“Lup?” Barry’s voice rouses her from her thoughts and she looks down at him. He’s blinking groggily.</p><p>“Hey,” she says, affectionately. “Go back to sleep.”</p><p>He smiles. “Not until you give me a kiss – uh, assuming you want to -”</p><p>She cuts him off by straddling him and pressing her lips to his. His hands go to her hips, and when she pulls back they’re both breathing heavily.</p><p>“Well,” he says. “Now I’m definitely not going back to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>Barry flips the switch on the coffee maker, and it pours out a mug of steaming hot, black coffee. He adds the sugar, and grabs his own mug from the counter. Both hands full, he opens the door to the kitchen with his foot, and makes his way back to Lup’s room.</p><p>Taako’s stood at the end of the corridor, outside the bathroom. “If you don’t come out right now, old man, I’m blasting the door down!” He yells through the door.</p><p>He turns and squints at Barry, who’s still dressed in pyjamas, as he walks down the corridor. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you not in jeans, Barold,” Taako says as he walks past.</p><p>“I wore a tuxedo literally yesterday, Taako,” Barry smiles, and pushes Lup’s door open.</p><p>“Wait, did you sleep in there? Bluejeans? Barold!” The door shuts behind him and cuts off Taako’s disgusted voice.</p><p>Barry’s always amazed at how, for an elf who doesn’t need sleep, Lup is totally dependent on coffee to wake her up in the morning. He puts his mug down on the bedside cabinet, and puts a hand gently on her shoulder to wake her. “Hey, Lup, if you wanna get a shower before all the hot water’s gone, you’re gonna have to get up,” he says.</p><p>Lup blinks up at him groggily. “Wha?”</p><p>“And I bought you a coffee,” he says.</p><p>“Oh, shit, gimme,” she makes grabby hands at him. He passes it to her and she takes a big slurp.</p><p>“I could get used to this,” she grins at him. “Great sex and morning coffee? You’re the complete package, babe.”</p><p>He can feel himself flushing. “I was gonna make you eggs, too, but I thought Taako would kill me if I ruined another one of his non-stick pans, so.”</p><p>“I’ll make us both omelettes after I shower,” she smiles.</p><p>He smiles back, and they drink their coffee in silence for a minute, before Lup jumps up and puts a shirt on. She leans down and pecks him on the lips before hunting around for a clean pair of pants.</p><p>She finally finds some, and sticks his jeans on. They’re a little too small in the leg for her, and much too large around the waist, but she tightens the belt and they fit. “What do you think, babe?” She grins at him. “My style?”</p><p>“Lup, I’ve never seen you look anything but stylish.”</p><p>“Sap,” she says, opening the door and walking out into the corridor.</p><p>“If you think you’re cutting in this queue, Lulu, you’re so wrong, I’ve been waiting forty minutes for Merle to finish already -” Taako’s voice rings out through the door that Lup left ajar. “What the fuck are you wearing.” He cuts himself off.</p><p>“I was thinking that me and my boyfriend should have matching outfits.” Barry can hear the laughter in Lup’s voice as he drains the last of his coffee. “I’m sure I had a denim jacket around here somewhere...”</p><p>“Your -” Taako goes quiet.</p><p>Barry was about to head back to his own room, but he can hear that they’re talking in hushed tones, and he doesn’t want to cut in, so he pushes Lup’s door closed and sits back down on Lup’s bed to wait for them to finish.</p><p><em>Boyfriend</em>, he thinks. <em>Lup’s boyfriend</em>. How did he get so lucky?</p><p> </p><p>“Your - your boyfriend?” Taako hisses the second part.</p><p>“Yeah, Koko,” Lup says, matching his volume, obstinately not expanding on her statement.</p><p>“Lulu, have you ever dated anyone before? Do you know how to date?”</p><p>“How hard can it be? You just go eat at restaurants or whatever. I’m good at eating. Anyway, it’s not like you’re any more experienced.”</p><p>“Untrue, I dated that orc – Jerome.”</p><p>“For three days, Koko, and only because you wanted to use his popcorn maker.”</p><p>Taako scowls at her.</p><p>“Do I need to give him the shovel talk?”</p><p>“Taako, it’s Barry. Do you really think he’s capable of hurting me?”</p><p>“It’d make me feel better.”</p><p>“Don’t scare him off.” Lup frowned.</p><p>“Oh, please, the dude’s been pining after you for forty years. I’m not gonna scare him off now.”</p><p>Lup rolls her eyes. “Fuck off, Koko, leave my boyfriend alone.”</p><p>He smirks. “Lulu’s got a boyfriend,” he says in a sing-song tone.</p><p>“Don’t call me that, Taako,” she scowls. “Show some respect to your elders.”</p><p>“We’re the same fucking age, Lup, we’re identical twins -”</p><p>“Yeah, what, you think twins pop out simultaneously? I’m older! -”</p><p>“You are not, you’re just more annoying -”</p><p>Barry, hearing their raised voices, sneaks out of Lup’s room. He sees them arguing, Taako wildly gesticulating and Lup with her arms folded, and he sees Merle sliding out of the bathroom. They make eye contact, and it’s clear they’re both avoiding getting in the way of the twins. Merle silently points to the now empty bathroom with an eyebrow raised, and, while the twins are distracted, Barry cuts the queue and jumps in the shower.</p><p> </p><p>He’s eating one of Lup’s omelettes. The eggs in this plane always tasted a bit funny, but Lup made it work.</p><p>“So, what seasoning is it you use with these weird eggs?”</p><p>“Uh, some of that weird rock powder from a couple of planes ago,” she says. “Some of that banana thing? The one that grew underground? They go really well together.”</p><p>She pushes the other omelette out of the pan and onto her plate, grabbing a fork and digging in herself.</p><p>“It’s funny, they just eat ‘em without seasoning. Guess it’s an acquired taste.”</p><p>“Did we ever find out what animal these came from?” Barry asks.</p><p>“No, and based on what they taste like I don’t want to know.”</p><p>They grin at each other and eat in silence for a moment.</p><p>“Barry,” she asks, in what he’s come to recognise as her serious voice. He can tell it’s something that’s been weighing on her, so he lays his fork down to listen. “Are we gonna tell the rest of the crew we’re together?”</p><p>“I’m sure they’ve worked it out,” he says. “After that performance I can’t imagine there’s much left to the imagination.”</p><p>Lup’s finished her omelette, and she stands up to look out of the kitchen’s porthole. Barry wolfs the rest of his down, washing it down with a swig of coffee.</p><p>“I don’t know,” she says, not facing him. “It - it affects all of them. We have to work together, if something goes wrong -”</p><p>He sighs. “If something goes wrong, we’ll be professionals.”</p><p>“It could affect us working together -”</p><p>“Lup, we’ll be fine.”</p><p>She still doesn't turn to face him, so he stands up and walks to stand next to her. She turns her face away.</p><p>“Lup, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“I’ve never dated anyone before,” she says. “I’ve only ever – I've fucked people, and then two or three days later at most I end it.”</p><p>He gives a soft “ah.”</p><p>“I don’t - I don’t know how dating works! I don’t -” She sighs deeply, and finally turns to face him. He grabs her hands with his. “What if I fuck it up, Bear.”</p><p>“Lup, do you know, I was pining for you for fifty years,” he says. “You’re way out of my league -” She tries to cut him off, but he waves her down. “You’re absolutely, objectively, empirically gorgeous. I’m not.” She shakes her head emphatically, but he continues. “You’re funny, and you’re clever, and you care so fucking much. I love you,” he says, “and you can’t change that.”</p><p>There are tears shining in her eyes. “I love you too.”</p><p>“So long as we talk – communication is so important. If I upset you, you’ve got to tell me, okay? That’s the only rule of dating.” He says.</p><p>She nods, and embraces him.</p><p>“Now sit down,” he continues. “I’m gonna make you some more coffee.”</p><p>He flicks the coffee machine on, and waits for it to boil in silence. It finally pours out their drinks – one black, no sugar, for him, and one black, two sugars, for her. He places the mug on the table in front of her.</p><p>“I’ve not dated much, either.” He confesses. “I had a boyfriend back home, but only for a couple of years. A girlfriend in college.”</p><p>She nods, encouraging him to continue.</p><p>“I fucked those up.” He takes a long swig. “I was too focused on my work; I didn’t make time for them. The girl – Juliet – we dated while I was working on my first Ph.D. I got it done in only a year and a half.”</p><p>She gives a low whistle. That was impressive time.</p><p>“But because of that I didn’t go out with her. I’d spend all day writing, go to work to earn money, and then I’d send her a couple messages in the evening and pass out.” He sighs. “She didn’t tell me she was upset. That’s why it’s important to communicate.”</p><p>She drains her mug. “I’ve never – The only person I’ve ever really shared with is Taako. He knows everything about me, but I can’t say anyone else does. Until the Starblaster, Taako was my only friend. He’s all I thought I’d ever need!”</p><p>It’s his turn to nod encouragingly.</p><p>“But I feel different now. I’ve never felt this way before, Bear,” she says.</p><p>“Me neither. And that’s okay,” he says back. “We can work it out together.”</p><p>She smiles. “Good talk.”</p><p>She stands up from her seat and sits in his lap, leaning down to bring him into a deep kiss.</p><p>The door bangs open, and Taako’s voice rings out. “Gross!” He’s stood with Magnus and Merle.</p><p>Barry jerks backwards, but Lup makes no effort to get out of his lap.</p><p>“Don’t stop on our account,” Merle says.</p><p>“Gross,” Magnus, Taako and Lup say simultaneously.</p><p>Merle belligerently mutters something about an echo and starts making his own coffee.</p><p>Barry’s sure he’s bright red, but when Lup jumps up and offers her hand, he takes it willingly.</p><p>“C’mon, Bear, we’re gonna find some privacy away from these goons.”</p><p>“Gross, gross, gross,” Taako mumbles, pulling his hat down over his ears as Magnus and Merle guffaw at his obvious discomfort.</p><p>They walk back down the corridor, hand in hand, and they both grin the whole way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave a comment if you like it, it means so much! Thanks for reading!<br/>You can find me on tumblr at sgrumby, so maybe check that out?<br/>Or, alternatively, if you're into podfics, you can find one recorded by the tazlivereadings group <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120415">here.</a> It's utterly gorgeous and it makes my mediocre writing sound incredible.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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